1 post tagged “feminism”
I'm a little late in posting this, but it's something that has been on my mind. Something I needed to get off my chest.
Phillis Schlafly gave a speech at Bates College recently and...
At one point, Schlafly also contended that married women cannot be sexually assaulted by their husbands.
"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape," she said.
A statement like this makes me cringe, because on the surface it seems so blatantly ignorant and dismissive of a woman's personal freedom. However, I find myself analyzing such statements in an attempt to see the other's point of view. I view this is a healthy exercise because not only does it give you insight into another person, it can also bolster your own argument. Here is my personal and completely biased feminist analyzation.
My first thought was perhaps this particular belief comes out of a certain naivete...perhaps built on the belief that all marriages are built on love and are blessed by God. If that is indeed the case, then a person would be led to believe that there can be no ill will in the husband towards his wife. A husband would never do such a thing to his wife, and therefore no rape can be claimed. However, if this were true, then wouldn't every woman understand this and be willing to succumb to her husband's desires, for wouldn't she want the same thing herself? Not to mention, that a woman would never hold any ill will towards her husband, because (as stated above) the union is based on love and blessed by God. Neither party in this blessed state should have ill will towards the other. (Oh wait, I forgot, women are evil...)
This led me to my second thought. Women are totally at the whim of their husband's will, regardless of the woman's feelings. If the husband wants to have sex, the woman better step up and put out. By marrying him, she's already consented to sex (whether or not she wants to right then and there is regardless - she apparently has consented to sex any time day or night), and it's the woman's duty to satisfy her man! It's not her place to question her man's needs and wants. Why he is, after all, king of his castle, and his will should reign supreme. It was Eve who took the first bite out of the apple, after all, and now all women must pay for her sins - sins of the father...well, mother...and all that.
When I think about women who are in an abused relationship, and are violated in such an extreme way, I can't hold to the belief that marriage = consent to sex. Marriage should be a partnership in which both people better each other, and love each other. Neither person should have to give up their personal freedoms - or in this case, parts of their body - for union. When sex is non-consensual, it such a deep violation, and it makes it ten times worse when it comes from someone you trusted and loved. We as a society should step up to help women (and men) in these situations, and not condemn them further. The union should not be held above the individual's suffering.
